Intrapath 2023-10-03 19:29:31

This was a really enjoyable read! One of the first words that came to mind when I started was 'theatric' - in fact, in the first few sentences, I thought the story took place during a stage play. That sense of theatricality was enhanced by how 'present' everything felt. Between the literal present tense and the narrator sharing their own thoughts now and again (one of my favorite spots was "I hate you, box", as if the narrator was offended on Ricky's behalf). I also loved the creative, colorful, and vivid use of description throughout the story - I love when creative works really take advantage of their medium and I felt like you did that in a memorable way.

I've got mixed feelings on the twist at the end; it didn't really grab me, personally. But it did get me to think a little more about everything that came before it. Maybe I'm looking into it too much, but part of me wonders how much - if anything - the other named characters had to do with poor Ricky's untimely end.